Schoolstuck
by beetleboy
Summary: um so at first the derses and the prospits have got a gang war going on but then they dont i guess and romance happens. rated t for the mouths on the characters and the authors. pairings dirkjake davejade johnrose. schoolstuck au.
1. Chapter 1

AN (Thursday): Um, so Cas and I both wrote this chapter collaboratively. I wrote the first paragraph, then we each did every other one or whatever. Um, it's the only chapter like this, as most others were written by me and then edited and added to by Cas. So, hope you enjoy! And also, the chapter title should be "Prologue Of Sorts". Yeah, I messed it up. Which was pretty much to be expected.

DISCLAIMER: We don't own Homestuck or any of the characters or stuff.

Dirk spat viciously at Jake. "I hate your fuckin' guts." "Yeah, well, same to you!" Jake replied. They then engaged in fisticuffs. They fought for about ten minutes, then were both sufficiently tired. "Say, how about we call it a day?" said Jake. "Why,"said Dirk, almost gasping for breath. "Your pansy ass couldn't take it anymore?" Jake went red. "No, I- It's just-" "Oh, spit it out. You motherfucking dorks are supposed to be the smart ones, right?" said Dirk. "Well, it's just..."

Jake shrugs, trailing off before actually finishing that thought, looking himself over for bruises and scrapes before shrugging again, gotta keep it consistent. Dirk watches with a douchey, smug smile fixed on his face, muttering, "Cat got your tongue or something, Stringlish?"

"No, you asshole, I guess I just...forgot what I was going to say." "Yeah, sure," smirks Dirk. "I'm sure that's what happened." Dirk puts Jake in a headlock. "Now, what was it you were going to say, UltraDork?"

Jake doesn't even bother pushing at his arms because he's _really_ fucking tired, shrugging yet again and smiling sheepishly. "Like I said, I don't quite remember." He waits a minute before stepping on Dirk's foot, probably grinding his heel down a little more than he really needed to.

"Ow, what the fuck?" mutters Dirk, noticing Jake's heel digging into the top of his shoe. He flings his arms to the right, effectively tossing Jake several feet sideways. Jake doesn't even bother to do anything about it, just crouches on the ground, panting. Yet he still manages to get out, "Is that the best you can do, Strider?" before collapsing on the ground.

Dirk kind of bites his lip, taking a few steps towards him and nudging him with his foot, gently of course, the douchebag had done enough damage already and he's well aware of that. "Jake."

Jake did nothing. Dirk nudged him with his foot again. Still nothing. "Oh, shit. No. Did this asshole just get fucking knocked out here? Is this now my responsibility? Fuck." He nudged Dirk with his foot again, futilely. "Shit," he said again, before picking Jake up and carrying his almost lifeless form on his shoulder.

Jake kind of presses against him, groaning softly because of rather apparent reasons, muttering, "The fuck are you doing, anyway?"

"Oh, hello, Sleeping Beauty. Glad you didn't require a fucking kiss. Though I know some people who would be more than happy," Dirk said, scowling. "What? Who? And I'm awake, why in the hell are you still carrying me for?"

Dirk freezes up some, letting him go reluctantly and shrugging nonchalantly. "I'm not anymore."

"Well, I see that now. And what were you talking about? Who would be happy?" said Jake. Dirk grinned. "You tell me what it was that you supposedly "forgot" earlier, and maybe I'll tell you."

"No forget it, I won't tell you and you won't tell me." and with that, Jake smacked Dirk and ran away, Dirk watching.


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: Thank you for your lovely reviews. Now I'm only worried I'm going to disappoint people. Dammit. But anyways, I wrote this chapter and Cas might have edited it a little I don't know it's super cheesy and lame and stuff ugh. Cas likes it though, so whatever. Also, there's pairings in this chapter that don't last, so don't be confused by that or...screw it, you'll find out eventually. Oh, and we don't own Homestuck.

Jake wandered into a café on the far side of town. Not that it was very far, the town was pretty small. "Oh, of course. Just my luck," he thought as he saw the blond boy sitting at a table about ten feet away. "OK, fine, I'll just get my coffee and get out. Maybe he won't even see- shit." Just then, Dirk glanced up and saw Jake standing nervously near the counter and scowled. Jake quickly ordered his coffee and walked towards the door. He was about to push it open, when a voice behind him said, "Where do you think you're going?"

Oh shit. Well, of course, that would be Dirk. There was no mistaking his voice. But what to do? He supposed he would just ignore him and keep walking. But no, of course Dirk wasn't going to let that happen. He grabbed his arm, and when Jake tried to continue walking and pull free, he just tightened his grip. "What the hell do you want, Dirk?" Dirk smirked. "You think you can walk into a café where there's a Strider and just walk out? I don't think so." "OK, so what do you want?" scowled Jake. "What do you think?" replied Dirk. Jake sighed. "I suppose you want to fight me?" "Of course," Dirk replied. "Fine, just here in the middle of this café then?" Jake said smarmily. "No, asshole. Either out in the streets or the very popular location of behind the café." "OK, fine, change of scenery it is. Behind the café," Jake replied.

Needless to say, fisticuffs followed. They punched and kicked and stuff, I'm not going to go into too much detail here. Afterwards, they both sat panting on the small strip of grass and pavement behind the café.

Out of nowhere, Dirk asked, "How's your love life?" Jake almost jumped up out of shock, and probably would've if he hadn't been so out of breath. "Um, how is that any of your business?" "Well, it's not, I was just wondering." "Um, why?" "I said I was just wondering, fuckass." Dirk scowled. Jake finally managed to pull himself off the ground. "And I asked why. And if you're just itching to talk about some sort of love life or something, then why don't you talk about yours?" "Well, um, cause it's sort of awkward," Dirk said, shaking his head. "I don't care, tell me!" said Jake. "Um, I'm sort of dating my brother," said Dirk. Jake stifled a giggle and Dirk leapt to his feet. "What, you think that's funny or something?" "Um, no, I…um…how's that going?" Jake replied. Dirk sat down on the curb again. "Um, it's fine I guess. Now own up. Tell me about your situation," he said, smirking again. "OK, fine, I guess I do owe you that. I'm dating…um… John Egbert." Dirk didn't even try to stifle his giggle, he just sat there laughing like a maniac. "Nice," he finally said. "So, we're both, like, gay? That's sort of going to make our fights more awkward. Especially when we wrestle. You know?" said Jake. Dirk shrugged. "Maybe we don't have to fight," he said. "Maybe we could just be, like, I don't know. I'm just gonna tentatively throw the word "friends" out there?" "Um…yeah, I guess. But the people you hang out with and the people I hang out with are always getting in arguments. How would that work?" Jake replied. "Well," said Dirk, "It would seem that we are each the elected muscle of each group, seeing as we are the only ones who ever actually fight. We'll just impose it on them," he finished. "Yeah, OK," was Jake's only reply.


End file.
